No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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