My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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