your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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