Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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