Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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