I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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