So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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