so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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