Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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