Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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