really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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