i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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