yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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