Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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