You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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