When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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