U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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