PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize