I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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