in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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