If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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