Umm I'm too high to move.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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