i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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