I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize