Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think people are normalizing furries
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize