when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize