Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize