I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize