Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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