Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize