I want to make a zoo with you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and she was petting her beer can
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize