Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize