I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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