i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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