Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize