it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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