My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize