I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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