she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Text me some of your sweat
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