i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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