He uses pillows to masturbate.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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