they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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