i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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