Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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