maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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