Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize