Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize