i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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