Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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