he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize